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| Goodbye, My Friends |
(Fri, 19 Jan 2007)
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| Editor's Note: Art Buchwald asked that this column be distributed following his death. Buchwald wrote the column on Feb. 8, 2006, after deciding to check into a hospice, suffering from kidney failure. He had discontinued dialysis and also had one of his legs amputated below the knee. He subsequently was released from the hospice, wrote a book about his experience and also resumed writing his syndicated newspaper column. He died Wednesday surrounded by family members. |
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| Zeroing In on a Trillion |
(Tue, 02 Jan 2007)
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| You see it in the newspapers all the time -- a trillion dollars. It may be the cost of Medicare or national defense, or the size of the national debt. |
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| So Many Cards, So Little Thought |
(Thu, 28 Dec 2006)
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| The family was gathered in the living room looking at Christmas cards. The first one opened was from Donald Rumsfeld. My daughter-in-law said, "They send us one every year." |
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| The Publisher Santa Forgot |
(Tue, 26 Dec 2006)
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Nobody likes to be fired at Christmas. The recent example is Rupert Murdoch's pink-slipping of Judith Regan, who tried to publish "If I Did It," a book by O.J. Simpson hypothetically telling how he would have killed his ex-wife.
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| When the Going Gets Tough, the War Keeps Going |
(Thu, 21 Dec 2006)
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| "We'll win the war." |
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| Better Read Than Dead |
(Tue, 19 Dec 2006)
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| The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties. |
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| A Spy by Any Other Name |
(Thu, 14 Dec 2006)
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| Doctors in London did everything they could to save a KGB (or ex-KGB) spy's life after they discovered that he was poisoned by the bad guys somewhere in the world. |
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| The King And I |
(Tue, 12 Dec 2006)
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Over the years I have met a lot of important people, but no one as important as Elvis Presley. Whenever I am interviewed, I mention that I went out one night with Elvis in Paris. He was in his Army uniform, on leave from Germany, and I offered to be his guide.
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| Happiness Springs Eternal |
(Thu, 07 Dec 2006)
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| A lot of people want to know: What is happiness? |
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| The Knock on Closed-Door Meetings |
(Tue, 05 Dec 2006)
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| The more things go wrong at the White House, the more doors it has to keep changing so people won't know what's going on behind each one. |
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| Unseasonable Conditions for Christmas |
(Thu, 30 Nov 2006)
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| Thanksgiving Day is dead as a doornail. We now have to get on with Christmas. We can't pass Go. We have to stop at Wal-Mart, Sears, Kmart and Target. The order comes from on high. We have to spend like there's no tomorrow. And even if there is a tomorrow, we still have to spend more. |
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| Indigestion All Around |
(Tue, 28 Nov 2006)
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Rupert Murdoch, the media mogul, almost had the biggest turkey dinner in U.S. history.
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| A Turkey With French Dressing |
(Thu, 23 Nov 2006)
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| The Turkey Growers Association of America has approved this message. |
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| International Noose |
(Tue, 21 Nov 2006)
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| Hanging a war criminal is a dirty job, but somebody has to do it. |
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| A Long Way Down |
(Thu, 16 Nov 2006)
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| I was walking down K Street three days after the election. I noticed several people leaning out windows. |
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| Firing Lines |
(Tue, 14 Nov 2006)
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We know that Donald Rumsfeld resigned. We know it was in the Oval Office the morning after the elections. Only Bush and Rummy were there, so although we know exactly where the historic moment took place, we don't know how Bush broke the news.
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| Our Blue Heaven |
(Thu, 09 Nov 2006)
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| Every once in a while your world stands still. This happened the other day when my good friend Bill Styron passed away. There are certain friendships that are so important they leave a mark on you long after the person is gone. |
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| Sold on Democracy |
(Tue, 07 Nov 2006)
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| To make sure our elections are fair, observers from democratic countries are monitoring the process. |
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| The Muck Starts Here |
(Thu, 02 Nov 2006)
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| The day after the elections, you can look in your trash cans and find all the negative political TV ads. |
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| The Redskins Poll, With A 2-and-5 Margin of Error |
(Tue, 31 Oct 2006)
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President Bush is not the only one who has been sinking in the polls. Joe Gibbs, the coach of the Washington Redskins, is also going up in smoke.
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| Join The Crowd |
(Thu, 26 Oct 2006)
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| You want another thing to worry about? |
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| Go Figure |
(Tue, 24 Oct 2006)
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| Col. Cruncher was passing the newsstand in the Pentagon when he saw a headline: "650,000 Iraqis Have Died as a Result of the U.S. Invasion." |
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| The Last Flight Out |
(Thu, 19 Oct 2006)
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| Ihave been at Dulles Airport for six months waiting to take a plane to Heaven. |
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| Adieu to the City of Lighters |
(Tue, 17 Oct 2006)
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It may be hard to believe, but I was a restaurant critic when I worked in Paris for the European edition of the Herald Tribune in the 1950s.
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| Weapon of Self-Destruction |
(Thu, 12 Oct 2006)
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| When scientists at MIT developed e-mail in 1961, they said it was a giant step for mankind. They didn't realize it was a weapon that could destroy the lives of many people. |
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| One Big Unhappy Family |
(Tue, 10 Oct 2006)
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| Just when the White House thought it was safe to go into the water, Bob Woodward wrote another book. It's titled "State of Denial." |
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| Be My Guest |
(Thu, 05 Oct 2006)
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| Pakistan's president, Gen. Pervez Musharraf, has written a book and has been appearing on TV to sell it. He even went on Jon Stewart's "Daily Show" on Comedy Central. |
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| The Writer's Bloc: George, Karl, the Other George . . . |
(Tue, 03 Oct 2006)
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The big question people constantly ask me is, "What happens when you have nothing to write about?"
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| Downward Mobility |
(Thu, 28 Sep 2006)
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| Forbes has a new list of the 400 wealthiest people in the United States. Those who made it had to have at least $1 billion. |
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| Eat Your Spinach, or Else . . . |
(Tue, 26 Sep 2006)
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| The CIA will deny it, but it has added a new torture technique. |
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